castleinthemist | 004 | Back in Black

Entry tags:

gundam wing: duo maxwell [au1]

004 | Back in Black | Open

So he's feeling better, that's pretty clear by the fact that he's goofing off in the courtyard. With his exploring track record? Getting assaulted near every time he's gone out to look about? He'd made a point to stick around for a while until he had completely recovered before doing anything, but now he was fed and feeling stir crazy. So there he was. Out in the court yard taking a spin on his hover boots. They shorted out plenty but they did what they were designed to do. Faster, higher jumps? When they worked it was great and he was having some fun, yelling out for the sheer joy of it.

"Hah!" He said as he jumped over a length of the pond with ease and continued on. He looked back to marvel at the distance he'd jumped, not really paying any mind to what was in front of him.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Haku took the apple with a hesitant nod of thanks, wrapping her hands around it and holding it on her knees for the time being.

"I-I... didn't want to bother any of you..." she said softly, distinctly avoiding his gaze. She rolled the apple around in her hands a few times. She would eat it eventually.

"You're all trying to find ways out of here, aren't you...?" she asked, "I'd just get in the way."

"Don't even start with that, Haku." If she were talking to him back home? If it were war times? He'd have agreed with her.

"You're a living computer. AI. I'd bet you're pretty clever. Who's to say you can't take one look at some of these puzzles and figure out what we need to do to get outta here? You might be exactly what we need." Duo said after chewing that bite. He took another.

"Nobody got anywhere by inaction."

Haku winced, shrinking in on herself even more. He wasn't being harsh at all, but his words stung more than he realized. All she could think of was how she had failed Quatre during the attack. How she had tried so hard to pull him from the darkness while he stared at her with terrified, wide eyes. Eyes she couldn't stop seeing.

He was fine now, if not more closed off and quiet than he had been when they'd met, but none of it did anything to ease her guilt.

"I-I... I think..." she started out, voice only going quieter with each word. A final mutter escaped that sounded suspiciously like 'you're wrong', but it would be a wonder if Duo could hear it.

Hm? He leaned his elbows to his knees, still looking at Haku fairly clueless. He took another bite of his apple and shrugged a little. What could he say? He could guess what was wrong or ask, but he didn't know if she wanted to talk about it.

"Aah. Haku. I just mean that it's better to be... um. Progressive? I mean sure I'm just being a lazy bum right now but y'gotta keep yourself from going crazy, right?" Maybe that was it. Or not.

He crosses his forearm over both knees, tapping fingers against his right one. "Y'get what I'm sayin'?"

"... proactive," Haku corrected softly, looking up at him through a fringe of white. "I... I get it... I just..."

She closed her eyes, fingernails digging in to the apple harder than she meant to.

"When... all those shadows attacked... I was with Winner-san. I tried to save him, I really did! But..."

She trailed off weakly, voice cracking. She didn't need to finish that sentence for him to know what had happened.

Edited 2012-03-06 08:24 (UTC)

"An' I saw Toph and Ratchet dragged off." Damn. Quatre too? Him and Heero? That's not fair. Not in the least, especially for Quatre being thrown into one of those things again. He held back the urge to shudder knowing how horrible that musta been for him.

"I know how that is, Haku. I almost got dragged down myself. I couldn't do anything, leave here? I was too scared. And the moment I did go out I got my ass beat by those shadows again." So it wasn't like he was having any luck.

"We're all in the same boat, sweetheart. Don't you worry about anything."

She didn't want to cry, but a tear rolled down her cheek anyway, forcing her hand to come across and swipe it away angrily.

"But I do have to worry..." she argued weakly, "I don't know if I can handle this... what if I break? What if no one can repair me?"

Toph had offered to help her with that, or rather find people who could, but would anyone really know how to repair something as complex as her?

"I'm terrified, Maxwell-san. I'm even jumping at my own shadow! I just... I want to curl in to a corner and never come out again... even if that means shutting down for good..."

Well...

"Look. Haku. First of all? You got me, Duo, Quatre and Heero who can all fix complicated and delicate machines. We can always wish for tools and everything. Might as well do it now while you've got the chance, by the way." So there's that.

That last bit. It made his heart ache a little at her expense. He could relate. He'd hit the bottom himself a while ago.

"Y'know, Haku. I almost gave up a year ago. Things were kinda bleak. As in we were gonna lose everything, bleak. But if you give up? You're guaranteed to lose." He exhaled heavily.

"So there's no point in that if you value your life. And y'should."

Hearing that did give her a tiny spark of hope, but it was tiny enough that when he continued, saying that 'if' she valued her life she wouldn't give up it was just as quickly extinguished.

She wanted to believe him. He was trying to be encouraging. But all she could think of was how she had been during those awful months with her first master, and how worthless he made her feel. She had come a long ways since then.

But not far enough.

"What if... I don't value my life... ?"

Duo at first just rose a brow as he let that process. 'Scuse him a sec. Did he hear that right? He huffed a breath of air out of his nose and shook his head. Simple answer, Haku.

"Then you're being a damn fool." So what? Did she not know how important life was? Seeing so many extinguished in a single instance? Duo knew. He knew all too well.

"If you don't value your own life, then value the lives of those around you and protect them. That's all you can do."

Those around her?

Quatre, both this Duo and his double, Heero, Kadar...

But not just them. Memories of her family that she hadn't seen in so many weeks came to her. Dell, Neru, Miku, the twins, Luka, Kaito, Meiko... even those made by the other companies, different but still considered family.

Of course she valued them. She loved her siblings. She did everything she could to protect the twins, to keep Miku happy, to make sure they were all doing alright even in the moments when she wasn't. They were everything to her, and she was reminded of that every day when she saw them on stage smiling and singing for the whole world to see.

More tears now, rolling down her cheeks. She sniffled and buried her face in her arms, wishing she could stop shaking so much.

He was right, and she couldn't even bring herself to say it.

That earned her a hand on her shoulder, in an attempt to be comforting despite his annoyance. Sure, he didn't like that thought at all, and he didn't even like talking about stuff like this. It just brought him down and made him think of his own hang ups.

Was he a hypocrite for saying one should value life when he's killed so many people himself?

"It's okay, Haku. Go ahead and cry." You'll feel better in the end.

Of course, that only made her cry harder. She didn't want to cry at all, but he was telling her to let it out when no one else in her life had ever let her do that before. Oh, her siblings probably would if she cried around them, but she didn't. Ever.

Her shoulders trembled, hiccups and sobs escaping quietly every few seconds.

He sat there with her, moving towards her and pulling her into a comforting embrace. He didn't have a real bond with her, and his feelings towards here were ambivalent at this point having not been completely familiar with her, but he felt he needed to try and comfort her. Give her a shoulder to lean on.

It was the right thing to do, and he wasn't sure if he did that enough.

The hug was strangely calming. It wasn't as though she'd never been hugged before, but the times when she was crying and upset were few and far between. She sniffled and hiccuped a little more, eventually quieting as she leaned against Duo heavily. Unlike a human she had no headache after her tears, but she did feel drained and lacking energy.

"Sorry..." she finally mumbled, looking up at him with a sheepish, apologetic expression.

He noticed the weight, bringing in a deep breath himself and taking his attention back to the way the sun fell through the trees onto the bright green grass. Actually, for a place that doesn't seem like anyone cares for it, the grass is pretty well kept.

Odd, that. He frowns at the thought and implication of that, then looks to Haku leaning against him.

"It's okay. Y'know?" He chuckled. "This place makes me wanna cry too, so don't even apologize for that." He was mostly kidding, but this place really sucked that much.

"Can't imagine some one like you crying..." Haku admitted softly, tugging on the fraying hem of her jeans absently with one hand. She had noticed that the grass seemed very well kept and green as well, but reasons why had never really crossed her mind. It simply reminded her of the seemingly abandoned temples that were still cared for by hands that weren't often seen.

She was comfortable like that, leaning against him, and he hadn't protested her doing so yet. She stayed like that, simply taking comfort in his company and closeness.

"I try not to." He gave a bemused huff and leaned back against his arm, a hand on her shoulder. Would he cry? Probably not. The last time he cried? Well... He's missing the source of that disparity now, so what else does he have to lose?

Oh, and with the sun beaming down on them, they really did have a good reason to be out there. He shifted his weight so his back leaned against the wall behind him for support.

He was getting pretty tired all of a sudden.

"I wish I could be that strong..." she said, hands starting to play with apple again. She finally took a bite of it, feeling at least a little better after crying. The setting sun was providing enough light, orange and faded as it might have been, to recharge her battery cells and left a warmth on her skin that was almost as much of a comfort as being next to Duo was.

She ate the apple in silence after that, finishing it and throwing the core to the side, happy for the food as well. The sun was nearly all the way down, but the remaining warmth still lingered in the air.

"It's pretty out here. Even if we are trapped."

"Strong--" he yawned, raising a hand to his mouth. "Eeeh. I think you see more strength than there actually is. Acting strong and being strong are different." Or somethin'. But he was strong in spirit. Pretty strong in body, but he had some weaknesses, and him? He was pretty jaded as it was anyway. Sick and tired of playing that part.

Actually, the quiet chewing of the apple, the warm of her body and the sun? It was enough to let him fall into a doze, so much that he didn't really even hear what she said. Responding only in a half awake 'hmmMM.'

She didn't really see the difference, but when it came right down to it there were things she couldn't completely understand. She was young, after all. She didn't even really know what being jaded meant, though she very well could be just as jaded as him and not realize it.

She hadn't realized he'd dozed off until his mumbled reply, which earned a look up at him followed by a fond smile.

"Duo-kun... ?"

He didn't answer, and she didn't want to wake him, if he was that tired. She settled herself in more comfortably, leaning against him as the last bit of light faded beyond the horizon, and soon enough her own sleep cycle turned on, leaving them both to doze outside.

Possibly, but that'd be kinda sad wouldn't it? Who wanted to be tired of the life they were living all the time? Getting down on things or depressed? Moody? That and restlessness.

Right now he was just comfortable enough to slip into a mindless sleep and enjoy the rays of the sun being cast down on his face, Haku leaning against him a comfort.

It was a good nap, and when he awoke, it was his stomach screaming at him to eat something. A loud squick of his stomach churning. He groaned at the lack of food in his stomach. Eerg.

Haku didn't wake when Duo did, but his movement made her curl up where she was sitting more. She wasn't clinging to him, but she almost was. Her sleep mode was activated by her systems, but for all intents and purposes she looked and acted like a normal human girl asleep.

He took in a deep breath, noting how sore he felt and how stringy his muscles felt. He felt like he'd lost some weight recently, possibly. Uuuh. Bad sign, wasn't it?

He looked out at the full moon and grimaced. Things like that? Those kinds of observations? It brought him back to being a child. The uncertainty of survival certainly wasn't a positive thought to bare.

Yawning, he just watched the moon, thinking of home. Thinking about lost loves and lost families. Thinking of Howard and how he's probably dead now.

Fuck it all. He's just gonna try and fall asleep. He sniffed his nose and sighed, closing his eyes and sighing.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

004 | Back in Black | Open

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject